explanation...

mornin' kids.
not much time...but...since you people asked...

the produce photo below was taken in a small grocery store in doklanoma (aka oklahoma). my mom planned this little weekend outing to a cabin - i think i posted pics - anyway, we were in the middle of nowhere, white trashville.
so we go into this store (of course we weren't prepared BEFORE we left) to get groceries.
i was not drunk, i just couldn't believe this store/town/state was a shithole but the produce section was FABULOUS.
and that is that. i know i'm a dork, but it was pretty and i love veggies.

ok, so now i need an explanation for something i saw this morning. a lady was walking to work in a yellow (bright yellow) above-the-knee dress. as if this is not bad enough, she accented it with BLACK pantyhose, tennis shoes, a black sweater, a big ass gold necklace (one of those 80s styles that come in funny shapes) and some dangly gold earrings. i swear to Christ i saw a bumble bee.
the saddest part about it is that she was a very attractive lady. poor thing just had no fashion sense. she could use my help.

alrighty, that's enough meanness for one day.

"treacherous children. you suckle them from your breast, wipe baby shit off their butts and they can't wait to get rid of you."
-mad girls

word.
~c

i like produce

don't ask me why i took this picture.
it just needed to be done.


rah rah retard and and myself.

arrrrrenchagladitstuesday?

(in a pirate voice)

mornin kids.
well...i survived the monday from hell. barely.
this real work is killing me.

ok, i have a dilemma. tonight is the much anticipated bobby d documentary on pbs. it is also the very hot and sexy dr. troy on nip/tuck. i love that man (and i'm pretty sure he loves me).
anyway, if i were in the 21st century, i would tivo it...but...i'm not. cool. at all. i guess i'll get the dad to record one or the other for me.

had a fun girls' weekend.
the boys went down south to go hunting. in other words, they drove 8 hours to drink 20 cases of beer and kill a couple dove. so i rented a roommate. well, not really rented. just bought her a bunch of beer. it was good fun. not clean fun, but good fun.

so, here are some pics. i'm tired. gotta work.

no, i did not convert to buddhism, it's just a zit.


last weekend at the hayes show.


at the majestic

"i gotta go. this cock wagon is hard to drive."
-keith

over & out.
~c

drunk dial, drunk dial

everybody drunk dial.
if you got a message from me last night, i'm sorry. it was unavoidable.
good gosh almighty i got sloppy. not wise for a thursday night.
to top it off, i forgot to take my meds this morning (i was WAY late), so now i need someone to behead me.

amber has officially scared the hell outta me. thank you, dahling.
now instead of going out on the town this weekend, i will be cleaning out my tornado shelter & preparing for the worst.
i'll need comfy blankets.
pillows.
a flashlight with batteries.
a weather radio.
dear louis.
maybe some dog food & water for the weiners.
and some cigarettes so i don't bite off all my nails.

i'm a little thrown off today.
sorry for the senseless rambling.

blah blah blah.
~c

party pizza

mornin' kids.
i'm no prize.
however, i do know the difference in right and wrong (in the fashion sense, anyway).

a little math problem for yo ass:
big girls + small skirts = disaster
period. ever seen biscuit dough when it squeezes out of the can?

anybody wanna fly me to denver on october 16th?
didn't think so.

party at 8-6-1-9. hit me up people.

peace.
~c

sorry...

i couldn't resist...

Q : What's George Bush's position on Roe v. Wade?

A: He really didn't care how people got out of New Orleans.


AAAAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA
fucking brilliant, i say.

peace ninjas.
~c

my day sucks because

-the alarm went off at 5 a.m.
-a lady in a minivan (i'm not shitting) almost side-swiped me
-the man in the police-looking car drove 25 in a 60
-an asshole tailgated me all the way to work
-i have a sinus infection
-i have to work late all week
-lost doesn't start until tomorrow



out
~c

stop calling me

happy friday fools.
if my cell phone rings one more fucking time today i'm going to throw it off the 9th floor (not really, it's a really cool razor phone).

ok, i hope i don't piss anybody off with this statement.
ok, honestly, i don't give a shit if i make anyone mad.
have you heard the twangy, awful, hillbilly song entitled "redneck yacht club"???? jesus, mary & joseph, can you believe it? i am appalled. what's worse? the fucker won't get out of my head b/c i heard it on the range this morning.
so now i've resorted to putting my ipod headphones at work on and tuning into some bobby d (live at the gaslight 1962).

what else? headed to the majestic tonight to see ron white with amber, koby & cassi. that should be fun. he's a crude bastard, but would you expect anything less from me? gonna hit up hayes carll on sunday at love & war. anybody want to join me??? keith probably won't go - i mean, it is SUNDAY, and there is FOOTBALL, and he does have a RECLINER. yea, so you see where courtney and her needs (wants) rank.

alright, well i got nothin', so i better run.

"i don't fish. i don't hunt. i'm a pinko communist fag."-the dad

peace.
~c

6 days

alright people.
i have like 5 seconds. and this is important news.

unbeknownst to me until today, scorsese directed a documentary over bobby d that will be released next tuesday. can i get a hell yes?
i just read it in time magazine this morning. however, some other wise guy already knew it and in not so many words, called me a retard. but that's ok. i qualify as one at times.

if you're too cheap to buy it, it will be aired on pbs the following tuesday (i think).

anyhoo, i'll be first in line next week, so we can have a super-exciting watching party. i'm sure most of you cannot appreciate a documentary over bob dylan. more than likely it will be myself, dad and zach. but that's ok. they're my boys.

alright, back to work.

peace.
~c

howdy

mornin' folks.
i'm having to work for a living now and this is a very unwelcome change.
so, no time for small talk.

but here is something i found quite funny. it is a list of the top 100 songs the year i graduated high school. 98% of them suck a big one.
anyhoo, just thought i would share.
only thing i miss about it is being 18.

1. Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix), Los Del Rio
2. One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
3. Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion
4. Nobody Knows, Tony Rich Project
5. Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey
6. Give Me One Reason, Tracy Chapman
7. Tha Crossroads, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
8. I Love You Always Forever, Donna Lewis
9. You're Makin' Me High / Let It Flow, Toni Braxton
10. Twisted, Keith Sweat
11. C'mon N' Ride It (The Train), Quad City Dj's
12. Missing, Everything But The Girl
13. Ironic, Alanis Morissette
14. Exhale (Shoop Shoop), Whitney Houston
15. Follow You Down / Til I Hear It From You, Gin Blossoms
16. Sittin' Up In My Room, Brandy
17. How Do U Want It / California Love, 2Pac
18. It's All Coming Back To Me Now, Celine Dion
19. Change The World, Eric Clapton
20. Hey Lover, LL Cool J
21. Loungin, LL Cool J
22. Insensitive, Jann Arden
23. Be My Lover, La Bouche
24. Name, Goo Goo Dolls
25. Who Will Save Your Soul, Jewel
26. Where Do You Go, No Mercy
27. I Can't Sleep Baby (If I), R. Kelly
28. Counting Blue Cars, Dishwalla
29. You Learn / You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette
30. One Of Us, Joan Osborne
31. Wonder, Natalie Merchant
32. Not Gon' Cry, Mary J. Blige
33. Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio
34. Only You, 112 Featuring The Notorious B.I.G.
35. Down Low (Nobody Has To Know), R. Kelly
36. You're The One, SWV
37. Sweet Dreams, La Bouche
38. Before You Walk Out Of My Life / Like This And Like That, Monica
39. Breakfast At Tiffany's, Deep Blue Something
40. 1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin' New), Coolio
41. The World I Know, Collective Soul
42. No Diggity, BLACKstreet (Featuring Dr. Dre)
43. Anything, 3t
44. 1979, The Smashing Pumpkins
45. Diggin' On You, TLC
46. Why I Love You So Much / Ain't Nobody, Monica
47. Kissin' You, Total
48. Count On Me, Whitney Houston and Cece Winans
49. Fantasy, Mariah Carey
50. Time, Hootie and The Blowfish
51. You'll See, Madonna
52. Last Night, Az Yet
53. Mouth, Merril Bainbridge
54. The Earth, The Sun, The Rain, Color Me Badd
55. All The Things (Your Man Won't Do), Joe
56. Wonderwall, Oasis
57. Woo-hah!! Got You All In Check / Everything Remains Raw, Busta Rhymes
58. Tell Me, Groove Theory
59. Elevators (Me and You), Outkast
60. Hook, Blues Traveler
61. Doin It, LL Cool J
62. Fastlove, George Michael
63. Touch Me Tease Me, Case Featuring Foxxy Brown
64. Tonite's Tha Night, Kris Kross
65. Children, Robert Miles
66. Theme From Mission: Impossible, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen
67. Closer To Free, Bodeans
68. Just A Girl, No Doubt
69. If Your Girl Only Knew, Aaliyah
70. Lady, D'angelo
71. Key West Intermezzo (I Saw You First), John Mellencamp
72. Pony, Ginuwine
73. Nobody, Keith Sweat
74. Old Man and Me (When I Get To Heaven), Hootie and The Blowfish
75. If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow
76. As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins
77. Keep On, Keepin' On, Mc Lyte
78. Jealousy, Natalie Merchant
79. I Want To Come Over, Melissa Etheridge
80. Who Do U Love, Deborah Cox
81. Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton
82. This Is Your Night, Amber
83. You Remind Me Of Something, R. Kelly
84. Runaway, Janet Jackson
85. Set U Free, Planet Soul
86. Hit Me Off, New Edition
87. No One Else, Total
88. My Boo, Ghost Town Dj's
89. Get Money, Junior M.A.F.I.A.
90. That Girl, Maxi Priest Featuring Shaggy
91. Po Pimp, Do Or Die
92. Until It Sleeps, Metallica
93. Hay, Crucial Conflict
94. Beautiful Life, Ace Of Base
95. Back For Good, Take That
96. I Got Id / Long Road, Pearl Jam
97. Soon As I Get Home, Faith Evans
98. Macarena, Los Del Rio
99. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish
100. Don't Cry, Seal

too many pills...
~c

i have lost it

alright people.
payback is a motherfucker.
every dog has its day.
it's time to eat crow.

i used to laugh at my friend lindsey when she complained about driving from mckinney to las colinas everyday. "sucks to be you, i work 5.6 miles from work." this being spoken while rubbing a little salt in those wounds. now i am paying dearly.
i addition to strengthening my aversion to minivans, i now hate work trucks, catering trucks, mercedes, lexus, hummers, expeditions and numerous other automobiles. ok, ALL other automobiles besides my own.

well, my friends,
all i have to say is:
eat a dick
the tollway sucks
i am buying a helicopter
i'm not a morning person
i hate working
i need a sugar daddy
any takers?

seriously, the tollway is virtually useless to me. it is just as congested as any other street in this damn hellhole of a city. takes me ONE HOUR to get to work everyday. and that is leaving my house by 6:30 a.m.

but it's a good thing i don't live in new orleans. i should stop bitching now and thank God.

so...
thank you, God, and peace out.
~c

pain...

howdy kids.

man...i'm hurtin' today.
cassi & i floated in the pool all afternoon yesterday, then some friends ventured out from dallas to hang with us. it ended up being a big slumber party last night. i'm too old for this shit anymore. so today i'm going to sit in my chair and read all day long. no drinky for courtney.

who am i kidding? it's a holiday weekend, we have a party at 4 today, so i'm sure i'll have a cocktail. haha. cocktail.

alright, well nothing going on. just thought i'd post this quote that i got from a friend:

"There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you."
Anonymous

peace.
~c

workin 9 to 5

dudes and dudettes...

workin is a bitch. i hate it.
oh, and to top it off, today was the end of the pay period, so i get paid for 2 days. but not for 2 weeks. could i have been any more retarded when i decided to take some time off???? god have friday.

so i have nothing to say except dallas sucks, the tollway is useless and i need a sugar daddy. fuck this work stuff. i'm goin' to el paso.

here are a couple pics from the other night:

myself and the girls from work


keith and i


red and i

peace out my homies.
~c