rocks & gravel baby

mornin kids.
this is it...my last day of freedom before i have to work again.
damn the luck.

so the girls from my old job took me to happy hour last night. actually, i took myself but i met them up there. it was fun. i feel like i've been suckin on a salt lick.

here's one of the group.
nevermind my camera died. we'll worry about that later.

anyway, i am retarded and this extended weekend has confused the hell out of me. i thought labor day weekend was NEXT weekend...so my time is limited to squeeze a road trip out of keith. guess i'm stuck here until next summer.

alright, back to work...er...i mean floatin...

later folks.
~c

new do

word up hometown.

well, today was my first official day of unemployment. i love it.
actually, i'm only unemployed until thursday...but one can always dream right?

went to the mall for the highlights...they look good. but i got a wild hair and decided to chop the mop. i look like a boy now.

i think that's it. i'm off to the pool to drink a few cocktails.
i'll post pics later. when i have time...priorities, priorities.

peace.
~c

chewed up bubble gum

i saw a 57 year-old man's nut sack last night.
i am scarred for life.

along those same lines (disgusting men and their obliviousness - is that a word?), a piece of advice: if you have long black hair on your back that trails down into your ass crack, don't ride a crotch rocket down the tollway with a belly shirt on.
jesus h christ people, get a clue! nobody (by nobody, i mean ME) should have to see that mess.

man...i am sweating out that 12 pack! went on a 2 mile bike ride, i am so out of shape. time to jump in the pool...peace out kiddos.

to the windows
to the walls???
~c

wanna play in my teepee?

mornin folks.
what can cows do that women can't?
stand in water up to their tits and not get their ass wet.

well...today is the day. d-day. and i'm not even at work. FUCK network general.
i'm sure managers are flipping their lids and thinking i ran off with a $2500 laptop and a fucking access card to the building. i love it. surely they see all my boxes full of pictures and like i'm really gonna leave that shit there? come on retards.

a couple girls are taking me out for drinks tonight at the good ol' pub & grub. i hate that place, but hey...they serve alcohol. then we're going to sit in bones' backyard & watch the high school football game. man i love those young boys...er...nevermind.

tomorrow night we have a very exciting night...but due to the secrecy of it, i will wait until monday to divulge anything. i don't want to be the one to spill the beans.

oh, and i just had a revelation this morning. dallas, or the north texas area to be more precise, SUCKS. i hate it.

alright people.
inside outside diet coke and marlboro lights.
~c

are you ready for this?

ok, people, this is probably not the right avenue for announcing something like this, so make sure you're sitting down before you read any further.

i'm leaving keith. yep, i met this guy at the gym a few months ago, and he is just irresistible. i mean...he's everything i've dreamed of my whole life.
he has the long, shaggy, dirty hair that i love. he's in great shape and a sharp dresser. not to mention he's very limber so that works out great in the bedroom. here are a couple pictures. i just have to brag on him because he is a piece of work! oh, and back the fuck up ladies, he's ALL MINE.

p.s.

the gourds were fucking awesome.

there's an alligator

in my pool.

mornin folks.
i haven't blogged in awhile because i'm training a new-hire. or maybe i should say "my replacement", although that would be a lie because nobody can replace me.

what would you say if i told you my refrigerator was not working?
here's a conversation i had with the sears repair hotline this morning. this week has really brought to light how many idiots there are in this world.
me: hi, yea i need to schedule an appointment for someone to come out and work on my refrigerator/freezer.
sears: ok mam, what seems to be the problem?
me: my freezer and refrigerator are not working.
sears: sooo, what's not working?
me: my freezer and refrigerator.
sears: is it plugged in?
me: ummm...YES, i don't generally unplug my fridge.
sears: are the lights on, there is no power outage, breaker tripped, etc.?
me(getting very irritated): the lights are on, my power is on, there is no breaker tripped.
sears: ok, so it is just not cooling?
me: listen dude, or mam (can't tell the difference...if it was a mam she smoked marlboros like it was a part-time job) i am currently carrying a half gallon of melted prailines & cream to the trash, my broccoli & cheese is SOFT and my steaks, ground beef and chicken are all thawed out. does that answer your question? THE FREEZER IS NOT WORKING.
sears: ok, so the freezer is not working. looks like i can get someone out there TOMORROW between 8 and 12. will this work?
me: yes, and have them bring a check for like $300 because i'll need to buy groceries by then.

jesus, mary, and joseph can you believe that???
ok, maybe my irritation stems from the fact that keith woke me up and said "i'm leaving, call sears because our freezer is broken. the meat is all thawed out and shit." i'm like "umm..ok, did you move it to the other freezer?" his response "no, i don't have time. i have to go. bye."
there are a few other factors to consider as well:
-i am NOT a morning person and this was at 6:45 a.m.
-i was supposed to be at work EARLY today.
-i have another 27 fever blisters forming.
-i've been training a retard for 3 days.
-this fridge is less than 1 year old.
-i just spent $260 on groceries that are almost all ruined.

goodnight nurse.
i'm out.
~c

hallelujah shine baby

mornin' kids.
friday!!!!!! and only one more week of this place to go!!!

man, i love my dad. i have the honor of being his designated driver tonight and escorting him to the gourds show at the granada.
how did i get so lucky? my goal was to find someone to drive me to FW and now i get stuck BEING the driver. yee-fuckin-haw.
but that's alright. the gourds are great.

gotta run.
time to go get some eyebrows ripped out.
the price we pay for beauty.

later kats.
~c

i went to buy some camouflage trousers...

but i couldn't find any.
har d har har.

what's up people?
nothin' here. stuck on a conference call, 'bout to pee myself.
there is nothing worse than a bunch of cacklin' old roosters on speakerphone. aarrgghhh...

ordered my mcclure cd last week. can't remember when it ships, but i'm oh-so-excited. also ordered the austin allsup cd. listened to some songs online. yea.

shit, hang on they're talking to me now...

ok, what else? hell...i got nothin.
maybe after this weekend i'll have more excitement.
OH...is anybody interested in driving my drunk ass to FW on friday? mcclure and the dedringers are playing. i'm dying to check that action out...let me know. i'll pay you $20. why am i always bribing people?

"shut the fuck up donny"

peace.
~c

don't go shopping

with men
unless they're gay.
i'm not kidding people.

i went shopping with my brother and keith on saturday. it was a wasted trip for multiple reasons:

- zach and his ADHD - we were bouncing around from store to store like mad.
- keith hates shopping (so why did he go?)
- i couldn't bust out my cash stash with keith there.
- we had to rush home so keith could drink off the neighbor's keg. priorities?
- strollers and the crazy women who push them.
- and finally, 3 words: SCHOOL STARTED TODAY.

other than that, my weekend was good. bryan had a party on saturday, so we drank free beer all night. i think there may have been some other extra-curricular activities going on but i was pretty tight by that point, so i stumbled to my backyard. dad & i listened to mcmurtry for awhile. until i began snoring and dad said "i'm going home. go inside and lock the doors. don't fall in the pool." hahaha...gotta love dads.

went to see "wedding crashers" yesterday. i bet that's the first time i've been to a movie in at least a year. it was good.
so then i decided to get more movies and veg out on the couch all afternoon.
and made brownies.

alright well i think that's it.
oh wait, i resigned friday. yep. it's official.

"we grind our meat daily"


keep it sleazy kiddos.
~c

alcohol & pills

mornin kids.
listening to a little eaglesmith this morning.
well hell.

so...a few pics from debi's birthday. i think i mentioned that i had been drinking? well if not, i HAD been drinking. so pardon the frightening, almost devilish appearance in some of them...


yea so django is a really nice guy, but i don't think they are my speed. the songs that sounded best were cover tunes. anyone feel the same?


and finally, since you all know what a tard i am...here is the infamous "courtney with her tongue out" picture that happens anytime a camera is around.


"i'm more man than you'll ever be, more woman than you'll ever get."
-song i heard on the range

alright people.
i'm out.
~c

caption this

since chokey has decided to end his blogging, i must carry the torch.
it's interactive kids. which means you need to PARTICIPATE.
comprende??


thank ya, thank ya very much...

it's a tough world out there...

words spoken to me by a wise friend of mine...

howdy kids.
so what do ya think of my ikea mess??
hahaha i crack myself up.
by the way, to the asshole (i know who you are) that divulged the amount of money spent there: here's a familiar phrase - "paybacks are a motherfucker"

anyway, my house is coming along...lookin' pretty good thanks to the abbster. you people should drop by & drink a few with me & check it out. or just drink with me. that works.

so the man & myself made the ever-so-painful trip to the car dealership this weekend. walked out twice without a new ride...go figure.
those of you who know keith realize that he is the WORST person (or best - depends on how you look at it) to take car shopping with you.
i recall a few years back, the trip to the 3rd ford dealership in 3 weeks. the salesman gave him a number he didn't like, so he crumbled his business card & threw it at the man.
and left me to pick up the pieces.
the most recent trip resulted in keith telling the salesman that it was a bullshit number and he wasn't "gonna sell a fucking car pulling shit like that".
and left me in there to get my keys.
do you see a pattern here?
bottom line: i'm NOT buying a car. if he wants to buy me one, fine. but i'm not going to be involved in it whatsoever. it is too painful, not to mention embarassing to me. i'm the one who stands there & looks stupid after he swivels off in front of the whole damn lot.

OH...one more thing. went to debi's birthday party at hank's on friday night. django walker was playing, and well, he's a nice guy. i'll upload pics tomorrow. my camera just died.

"damn girl, someone needs to buy you a happy meal...hope you have fun being shitty!!"
-louie c

peace.
~c

courtney is a hypocrite

alright kids...no time to talk at this moment.
but check out this picture.
i know, i know. i'm a LOSER.

lookin for some drugs

or a shrink to console me..

mornin kiddos.
is today thursday? i sure hope so.
i've been way confused on my days this week.

so it looks like courtney needs to go ahead & invest in photoshop. you've seen a couple of my masterpieces created with ms paint (SOOOO not user-friendly). well..that is the reason i need photoshop. beware...none of you will be safe...especially if i have a picture of you in my possession. and if i don't, i can get one. oh yes, i have my ways.

alright well i know everyday i bitch about traffic, driving, and minivans but i can't help it. my life is spent in front of a computer or in a car. so just bear with me when i get on my rants. today's rant is about the tolltag lane and it's addressed to those people who have no fucking clue about how to drive through it...aka yankees!

here are my clear cut instructions on how one should proceed in this lane:
first and foremost: DO NOT SLOW DOWN. the little machine will read your tolltag regardless of how fast you're going. ok, maybe not, but who cares? you get away with one free entry/exit.
next, and along the lines of speed: the tollway is dallas' version of the autobahn in germany. get my drift? if you have a tolltag (and even if you don't), book ass down the tollway, or get the fuck out of my way. i do not play.
and last but not least: all minivan drivers can kiss my ass.

"i just farted and it stinks."
-russell the waterhead

alright, i've said my peace.
keep it sleazy.
~c

gosh!

I HATE MY F-ING HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHOOT ME NOW!!!!


on another note, check out this beautiful dog. it is my friend laura's. she is a wolf, actually, and her name is mika. laura's an awesome photographer, by the way.
mika is playing with a turtle in this pic. how cute is it???

arrrrgh

so i was informed that the "grand opening" of the big blue beast (ikea) is today...not yesterday. so i was subjected to the traffic this morning. honestly, it wasn't too bad. however, i'm guessing that my commute tonight with be marred with minivans and no-driving bitches. lucky me.

on a lighter note, i'm trying to plan a trip for the man & myself for the end of this month. gonna have about 5 days off so i gotta get out of town! although i could use that time to clean out my closets & have a garage sale. nah. i'd rather lie on the beach with a drink in my hand.

andrew is probably the only one who reads this so-called blog who will know what i'm talking about, but that new reckless kelly cd is pretty kick-ass! something about that 7 nights in ireland song is catchy. i like.

"damn ear-digging oklahomians!!! are we on earth? white scum!"
-chad's response to this picture


alright young'uns.
i'm out.
~c

hungry?

wretched again...

howdy folks.
i got nothin' today.
sorry.

so until my brain decides to work again, here are some random thoughts i'll leave with you:

• reckless kelly has some cool artwork on their new cd.
• i'm going to see hayes carll at bill's this weekend...soo happy!
• frisco water tastes like shit.
• girls are fuckin' CRAZY. period.
• welcome back from vacation, drew!!
• it is extremely warm today.
• i need a vacation...preferably sand, sun and cocktails involved.

"come on, man. i had a rough night and i hate the fuckin' eagles, man!" -the dude

word. ~c

smart kid, that wesley...

with a pull-up on his head.
bet his momma is proud.

avez-vous un courtney?

explanation of subject: some cheesy sloganator my friend sent me.
i typed in my name & that's what i got.
my french is rusty, but i think it means "do you have a courtney?"
everyone should have a courtney in my opinion. um. nevermind.

ok, so with all this hooplah about the new ikea store, i'm about ready to puke. fuck that place.

my reasons for hating it:
#1 - could the building be any BLUER? Jesus, that is obnoxious! the building is even uglier than the furniture inside it.
#2 - the motherfucker opens on TUESDAY. people are already camped out, trying to be the first person in line so they can get like $2500 in free shit. how about opening it on a WEEKEND. when i can sit at my house and not have to worry about fighting all these minivan driving bitches just to get 5 miles down the road.
#3 - oh, and how about not opening a store until the road construction is at a minimum? good gosh, i may as well not go to work for the next week cuz its gonna take me 4 hours to get there. thank God the roughriders are out on the road now or it would be hell on earth.
#4 - who the fuck likes contemporary furniture anyway? well...different strokes for different folks, but i think the shit is ugly. and cheap. and stupid.

ok, well that helped release some pent-up anxiety.
i'm going to test drive my (future) new ride today. if you see a bad bitch plowing over those minivans in a new hummer, that's ME! and throw me some props, people. you know you want to side-swipe those bitches, too.

"i don't dip snuff and i don't listen to garth brooks."
-some lady in a dream that keith had. after he threw 2 briskets at her.

peace out kiddos.
~c