hunger strike

as i sit at my desk clipping my toenails...
i realized that i haven't eaten a thing in almost 24 hours.
and i'm not even hungry. watch out kate moss, here i come. i figure if i can go 24 hours, then what's the point of eating at all? all it does is make ya fat. and lord knows i need to lose a few to get into that little bo peep outfit tomorrow.

speaking of halloween, today at work they are having what they call a fall festival (so as not to offend the non-halloween-practicing individuals).
this "festival" entails everyone dressing up in costumes, buying raffle tickets, etc. etc. oh and their damn rugrats can come up and trick or treat this afternoon. well lemme just say, in the words of my old friend donna martinson (who i miss dearly might i add), "I AM OUT ON THAT DEAL."

well...if anyone wants to make some cash, i'll pay big bucks for you to be on call tomorrow evening as a designated driver. julia's par-tay should be a drunken blowout. in more ways than one...notably the blowout that will probably happen in my lace thigh highs. i'm tellin ya...this outfit is a little seedy for my liking. but i'm just gonna have fun with it.

alright, so i better go finish my pedicure before my boss gets here.

"of course they're checkin us out. i mean LOOK at us."
-my homie c to the a to the ssi

peace.
~c

upon further review

i am going to have to kick the vaporub habit.
yes, that is what i said. i'm hangin' it up.

unbeknownst to me (although it is printed on the label), you are not to use vaporub in or under the nostrils.
that's like saying not to put...WELL...i won't go there.
anyway, that is exactly where i was using it. it has a stronger effect when you put it under the nose. i mean...i want a little buzz off it, i ain't gonna lie.

anyhoo, i have been using this miracle drug for close to a month now and i was beginning to worry about it becoming such a habit (not sure why)
so i decided to research it.
bad idea.

here's what i found:

"since vaporub is an oil-based medication, it shouldn't be used in or under the nose, inside the mouth or swallowed. any oil-based product can get into the lungs if used improperly."

"the product should only be used for 5-7 days until symptoms resolve."

"ingestion of menthol, camphor and essential oils may cause nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, diarrhea, drowsiness and coma."

"symptoms of a vaporub overdose may include twitching facial muscles, muscle spasms, excessive thirst, convulsions, rigid muscles, slow breathing, burning of the mouth or the throat, skin irritation, abdominal pain, nausea & vomiting, rapid pulse, restlessness or agitation, unusual behavior, and unconsciousness."

nice. i'm so glad i have yet another addiction that if not for sure, could potentially be the cause of my death.
i'm beginning to think i need to go to betty ford.
help me.

aaaaaahhhhhhh.
~c

rawr

ok, i'm officially house hunting in the hill country.
not really.
but i should.

aside from the fact that dallas blows and its ugly, i found one more reason i need to move. my allergies are BACK. i didn't have to pop one single allegra last weekend. and now i need to be put in the guillotine.

on a lighter note...i had the motivation last night to put some songs back on my ipod. yep, sent the laptop to the shop and it came back with no itunes. i was livid. so anyway, i'm back up to 319 songs. fuck yeah!

hmmm...saturday night, what to do?
3rd annual costume party @ julia's...or the dedringers @ woody's?
i say dedringers @ woody's, but i drink too much to drive to ft. worth. so there's my decision.

alright, gotta get to work.

"OH MY GOD. are we in fucking antarctica?"
-you got it...cassi.

peace.
~court

call me crazy...

but i wouldn't pee on the side of the road in an orange construction vest if i didn't want to get a ticket. unfortunately, i didn't get a picture. but you get the idea...


afternoon, kiddos.
well, i survived the weekend. barely.
overall, it was good fun.
drank entirely too much, got too little sleep, gossipped way too much, spent a fortune, got lost in downtown new braunfels (it is possible).
oh, and then saw a shitty concert (not the gougers). all i have to say is NEVER...and i mean NEVER go to gruene hall. it blows fat ones. the floors are falling in, there are like FIVE people there and the cops are everywhere. oh and the walls are made of chicken wire so i froze.

so i only took one picture the entire weekend and i can't download it on this pc. i'll get around to it sooner or later.

here's a very short conversation between myself and cassi this weekend:
CH: "this is a weird town square."
CT: "mainly because its a circle."
CH: "fuck you." (or something to that effect)

alright, i'm out like a fat girl playin' dodgeball.
~court

suicide

mornin kids.
ok, seriously, this chick that sits outside my office is listening to a song that says "i play chicken with a train". wtf is THAT???? i'm about to jump off the 9th floor. so i shut my door and cranked up the edge.

speaking of suicide, i saw this guy at the gas station that i went to high school with. i am not going to tell you his real name (he's been to prison, which he so openly shared with me) but we used to call him suicide. he was quite the scary-looking character (still is) but is SUPER nice. now i know what you're thinking "how could anyone who has been to prison be super nice?" well i'll tell ya. he did not kill, rape, rob or hurt anybody. his dog attacked a police dog, which is, according to my sources, as bad as assaulting a police officer. so the poor guy went to prison for 4 years. so anyway, to the funny part.
here's our conversation:
Me: "hey, i'm planning our 10 year reunion for this time next year, i need to get your contact information so i can invite you."
S: "um...i didn't really graduate."
Me: "that's ok, you went to school with us. you should come. we're having a huge party."
S: "well, that's kinda against my parole."
Me: "you mean probation?"
S: "no, i mean parole. i went to prison for 4 years. just got out."
Me: "well so you can't come to the party?"
S: "i can't be around alcohol." (as he was standing in line behind me with a 12 pack of heineken)
Me: "so, yeah, prison musta sucked."
S: "well it wasn't fun courtney."
Me: "ok. well it was good seeing you, bye." (as i run out the door)



so i'm not really into working today, not much going on anyway.
the boss lady is in atlanta, so i'm just finishing up some stuff and gettin' the F out of here. should be some classic pictures after this trip.

"does my sexiness O-ffend you?"
-the queen of quotes (a.k.a. cassi)

peace.
~c

i'm lost

mornin kids.
had a late night meeting last night. missed my show.
i'm pissed.

on a lighter note, cassi & i are headin' out tomorrow for a little road trip. we're driving down to new braunfels to meet up with some friends and catch a few shows. going to see the sidehill gougers saturday night. i'm pumped.

well...hmmm...what else?
not sure.
i forgot my vaporub today so i have a bit of a twitch.

peace.
~c

errr...uh.....damn

good god have friday.
ladies, check out this picture of my future husband.
contrary to what you people may think, matthew will leave penelope for me. he just needs to meet me first.
MERCY!!!!


i just don't even know what to think.
~c

my lunch today

yes. i ate taco bueno. and almost died.
fast food is the devil.
blah. hork. puke. ugh....

what a beautiful day

mornin' folks.
so today has been fabulous so far.
not really.

other than the traffic being minimal this morning, it's all falling apart.
let's start from the beginning.
i got up super early (in hopes of avoiding the highway to hell), got in the shower, only to step out onto a piss-soaked rug. thanks, zoe.
then the beast wakes up, begins the normal complaining about my music. this morning it was "that sounds like a dog barking." nice.

well he gets lost for awhile and i have ME time. to enjoy my music. and put on makeup.
time to think about my cute new pants i was planning on wearing to work. yep. they are so cute that i didn't realize the mothers were NAVY and not black pinstripe. and when did i realize this? in the bathroom at work. just now. with my BLACK tank and BLACK shoes. fucking beautiful!

so i'm ready to leave by 6:35. put the dogs up, go into the kitchen to go out the back door and the man is in cardiac arrest trying to find his cell phone and garage door opener. well hmmm...cell phone..in the car maybe? garage door opener...in the car maybe? anyway, he found both and not in normal places. but that's beside the point.
he takes the work truck, conveniently leaving the other truck behind my car. nice. so i move it out of the way. only to step out into wet grass. i forgot tuesday was sprinkler day.

mondays are supposed to be like this. not tuesdays.
i wish i had a mask like this.



peace out people.
~c

it's official...

yes, kids, it's true. i'm hooked.

i'm a vaporub JUNKIE.

i want it. i need it. it makes me happy. it makes me dizzy. it makes me goofy.
it makes my nose open so i can breathe for christ's sake. fall allergies suck. but thank god for vick's vaporub. and crime and punishment.

peace...and clear nostrils to you.
~c

my hump my hump

my hump my hump my hump...


is that how that song goes?

the bare necessities

this is all i would need.
minus the toothless spouse.

my lands...

its a PANIS!!
made of snow!!

courtesy of miss laura @ daisy photography

whuh?

mornin.
friday...hell yes.

my husband loves to make fun of my music taste. i mean...like everyday. he can't let it go. so he usually makes up stupid lyrics to the songs that he hears when i'm getting ready in the morning. well today, it was steve earle's hillbilly highway.

here are the real lyrics: "my grandaddy was a miner, but he finally saw the light..."
and keith's lyrics: "my grandaddy knew tiger woods and somethin about jasper texas..."

hmmm...interesting.

so anyway, after having a near-meltdown this week over traffic, i think i'm going to be ok. my sister-in-law suggested that i listen to some audio books. i'll be hittin the library this weekend for some of that action. until then, i think howard stern is my best bet for easing the tension on the road. i started listening to him again just today and i laughed all the way to work. it also only took me 35 minutes to get here. so that helped.

alright. i'm out.

"are you sure its your head? because it could be that lump of BULLSHIT you got caught in your throat."
~her daughter's name is grace, but she ain't got it....yes...cassi, the queen of quotes

peace.
~c

aaaarrrrggggghhhh

blah.
traffic sucked royally today.
left at 6:45, got to work at 8:15.
the only word i can say right now is aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

i would love to ramble on about how wonderful the tx/ou game was. but i am in a foul mood.
i would love to post pictures of our debauchery, however, this POS computer does not recognize my camera. so i'll try to post pictures tonight. or tomorrow. or sometime.

blah.
i need some meds.


bye.
~c

booger eater

mornin' kids.
this weekend is gonna rule. watching texas whip OU's ass will be the highlight of my week. hell, it will be the highlight of my year. but onto bigger business.

ok, if you drive a minivan and choose to pick your boogers while driving down the tollway, then speed up or slow down. either way, get the fuck out of MY way.
GEEEEEEEZZZZZZ...can people be anymore annoying???

alright...well, i don't have much else to talk about except that i look awful cute in my UT getup today. rawr.

for your viewing pleasure, a picture of keith & i that i just got from laura. this girl at work told me that he looks like a young robert redford. oh, and she also mentioned that we look like brother and sister. nice.
anyhoo...bye.


~c

insomnia

mornin' folks.

well...i am officially old. i wake up at 4:00 every morning, even after getting up to pee 2 times a night. it is ridiculous.
instead of laying in bed thinking about everything i need to accomplish, i got up and got ready for work. only to be frightened by zach knocking on my back door at 6 a.m. WTF? turns out he couldn't sleep either and he has an interview today. he needed to borrow a belt from keith. well, keith happenned to be ASLEEP, like most normal folks, but not for long. the dogs went nutzo, running around on the wood floor and barking like maniacs. so needless to say, i am NOT the most popular person around my house today.

have i mentioned before that i work in the ghetto?
if not, let me reiterate: i work in the GHETTO.
uh uh, this country girl is not used to this atmosphere. i mean where i live, we have a super target, super wal-mart, and more retail stores than you can shake a stick at. well...this morning (at 6:45, no less) i was way early to work, so i thought i'd stop by what i thought was a super target. a girl can always find something to buy. well, in this neck of the woods, i don't think ANYTHING stays open past dark or before daylight. and i can understand why. so i pull into the garage and there are like 3 cars. i grab my purse, lunch and starbucks and book ass to get to the door. this white girl was freaking OUT!!! running in these damn 3 inch heels was a chore, especially after a knee surgery gone wrong not too long ago. anyway, i made it in safely, but now i need an icepack and some pills.

i'm not sure where i'm going with all this. i'm so tired that i'm retarded.
mcclure at love & war on sunday. be there or be a loser like russell.

oh, and to add to the randomness, the attached pic is the aftermath of my 25 year old brother cutting in front of a bunch of kids in a drunken stupor to do a cannonball. i must have been drunk too, because my trigger finger was not so quick.


peace.
~c

know when to hold 'em

mornin' kids.
heard a little of the silver fox this mornin on the drive in.
almost shit myself. i'm just wondering...was kenny rogers ever cool? i mean really?
it wouldn't matter to me if he had the voice of an angel, the hair just fucks it all up for me. poor dude.

so i was driving into work today (late i might add) and got a little warm, so i turned on my a/c. and what appeared to be smoke started coming out of the vents. i almost shit myself again. i had this wave of panic take over and i was cutting people off right and left trying to get to an exit. i called my trusty husband freaking out, "there's smoke coming out of my air vents! is the car gonna explode? what do i do? oh my gosh!" he's like "are you sure its smoke?" so i look and there is no longer anything coming out. according to him, it was probably condensation from the god awful humidity this morning and i need to chill.

ok, i think that's it.
i better get busy.

check out hayes & i.
i think his fingernails are dirty.


peace.
~c