happy birthday to russell...

it's your day!!

f-in eh...

i will soon be the owner of this:

how 'bout it?

this is how i feel today:

wontcha scratch my itch

sweet annie rich...

howdy kids.
well, i'm pretty lame these days.
kinda down, lookin' for a new job, and trying to figure out how i can afford this.
i know...i don't need it...but that has never been a factor in my decision-making process. ever.

on another note, i think i have found my niche as far as a career path. i dreamed last night i was a truck driver. can you picture it?
what's even funnier is that i was driving to sean's graduation party (?) and then rachel & i were going to prom with the dedringers and i had a green dress and green shoes. prom? WTF??? i'm like...old. yea, i musta been high.
oh, and along the lines of truck drivers (no offense dad), i very much have the coif to qualify as one today. i think i mentioned that eric cut my hair in a mullet-esque fashion??? well just in case, let me re-iterate. i have a mullet.
so i called him and he's going to repair the damage ASAP. like at 4:30 today.

ok, i think that's it.

"some people are like slinkys: not good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
-????

peace.
~c

pikchas

ok, i'm back.
here are a couple pics.
my dad was a little intoxicated....

"tomorrow we make lots of money...

...today we don't worry."

mornin' kids.
sure glad i didn't come to work yesterday. made it that much harder to come in today. ugh.

i saw the most unbelievable sight this morning. one i've never seen before.
a chinese woman in a long bed, extended cab GMC truck. and she didn't drive like an asshole. i couldn't believe my eyes. today is going to be an interesting day...

got my hair cut yesterday. fuckin' guy made me look like a mullet-head. i'm not kidding. he had to make my layers on top super-short because my hair was so damaged. so don't expect to see pictures from this day forward. until it grows, of course.

speaking of pictures...here are some from this weekend's adventures. it was pretty uneventful, but we had a good time.

friday night...misty & i were sitting on the porch (in the middle of the woods and dark as shit) smoking when some creature wandered toward the porch. i booked ass into the cabin as she was pulling my shirt trying to get in before me. we were screaming like little girls. so mom & zach are like what the hell is going on? well my mother isn't scared of shit (except for airplanes & tornadoes) so she goes out there. lying on the porch is a red hound dog with cuts all over him. well you know what that means...courtney is SAD. so we both start tearing up...it was a mess. anyway, we gave him water, then later on gave him food. misty named him big red and he had a girlfriend who came around every now & then. mom named her nibbles because she bit so much. for some reason i didn't get any pictures of them.
saturday we went to the lake, it was like bath water, so we went to the river instead. it was freezing so mom, zach & i are the only ones who got in. dad, keith & misty sat under a tree and drank beer. after we had all the fun we could handle, we went back to the cabin, cooked steaks and drank a little...

shit i gotta go...i'll post pictures later.

peace.

i like men

howdy folks.
f-f-f-friday motherfuckers!!!

hey...news flash. i'm not gay.
that's right, tyler, despite my trucker mouth and the fact that i'm also DRIVING a truck, i'm not gay. i always said i would NEVER drive a truck because only bull-dikes drive trucks. never say never, kids.

but this is only temporary. i'm trying to keep the miles off mine so i can trade it in without getting butt-raped. anyway, the biggest issue with driving it (besides the boyish-ness) is that i can't smoke. yea...motherfucker won't let me. it sucks. talk about anxiety attacks during my hell-atious construction-ridden commute. you can't even imagine. if you see a crazy lady in a big silver truck with red diesel sprayed all over the back window, its me. and get the fuck outta my way because i need a marlboro!

well, that's about it. i'm gettin' ready to get out of here for the day.
going out of town again. this is the big family sha-bang in beaver's bend. huh huh i said beaver.
but its all kinda falling apart. you see, my boat is broke (yes i said broke) and we can't get it in the shop for a month, so we aren't quite sure what we're gonna do all weekend.
see conversation btw zach & i:
Z: "soooo....what are we gonna do all weekend?"
C: "uh...drink?"
Z: "all day today and tomorrow?"
C: "i guess."
Z: "cool."

yea, so its basically like driving 3 hours to do the same thing we do by our pool most weekends. except hotter, and possibly no water to keep us cool. there is supposedly a river there, but i'm not sure about those doklanoma bodies of water. i picture myself ingesting some bacteria and ending up all disoriented in the woods by myself naked and the tune from deliverance starts playing....wait...i'm just fantasizing.

out like a fat girl playin' dodgeball.
~c

billy jean

is not my lover.
what is up people? nada.

as most of you know, i've been sending out lame ass emails all day, bored as shit up in here.
here's bildo's response to one of theM:
There is no way in the Devil's special hell, discounted in the summer, that I am gonna do this shit. I do not even like to know what I am thinking, much less anyone whom has the annoying habit of remembering what that fuk they just read after 10 or so minutes and then have the nerve to either Email ya, call ya or spray ya w/ beer drenched spit in a bar one night and yell laughingly in your ear (if your lucky) at some of the really lame answers you gave about Teddy Bears, fuzzy slippers, a fuking animal or animal part of anatomy that you held in your hand and then had the nerve not to wash after and you somehow feel compelled to smash them right in the face with the nearest heavy object like an ashtray, if your not at some lame ass non-smoking oxygen type Euro Trash hang out.
Whew! So there.

yea, anyway. what was i gonna rant & rave about today?
probably my job.

instead, i'll just babble.
the construction on the tollway sucks big donkey balls.
my upcoming family weekend should be fun.
anybody wanna dog-sit?
amanda zapped 2 zits yesterday.
one of them is already gone.
i need a pedicure.

i have lots of shit on my desk, so i better go.
peace out kids.
~c

memories...

howdy folks.

here's a hot one to tide you over. i got shit to do today.
like find a new job. and get my zits zapped.

peace out kids.
~c

i'm a good girl

mornin' folks. wait. its afternoon.
well i came in late today so it still seems like mornin.

sooo....where to begin?
took a trip to good ol' new braunfels again this weekend.
nicole went with me. left about 5:30 on friday...didn't get there 'til 11:00.
it sucked. rained the entire drive, well until austin i think.
we smoked enough cigarettes to kill a person.

brooke & alan were waiting for us when we got there. drank a few with them while brooke urged me not to have a baby until i'm like 35. according to her, i'm too much of a princess to have a baby. whatever that means. most people who know me never associate the word "princess" with my name. but whatever.

crashed in the tent with my gun close beside. i slept on this cot that has an air mattress built-in. that worked out pretty well. it rained like crazy saturday morning. the rain came in on nic's side...not mine. good news for me.
since we figured our float trip was not gonna happen, we drove into gruene & ate lunch at this cute little place called janie's table. been there before, but i was a bit drunk, so didn't really remember the quality of the food. it was good this time.
see picture:
so we planned on shopping all day since it was raining, but about the time we were finishing lunch, it started clearing up...yee.fuckin.haw.

went back, threw on our suits & hopped on the bus with ross (floathouse bus driver kid). learned some new stuff about ross on that trip. well, i actually never knew anything except who he was before this weekend.

ANYWAY, floated for a few hours, courtney got a buzz, nicole's tube deflated, and then we got to the floathouse. got some vittles and headed back to pass out in our lawn chairs. took a short nap, drank some more, went to the ragweed show, and that's that.

the show was great. hayes carll opened, he's great, then micky & the motorcars. i am not sure what i thought about them yet. so i won't comment. of course ragweed was fa-bu. too many people there, but that's normal nowadays. stoney came out & sang with them a couple songs. not sure which ones, because i was kinda toasty (see pic).

so toasty, in fact, that my response to a simple question that should have lasted one sentence ended up being very drawn out and unclear. "ummm...no. i mean yes. he is. well, i don't know. maybe. i have no clue what i just said. do you know?"
my bad, nic.

so the weekend was good fun. but this week's gonna be a bitch. gotta start job-searching. any of you hear anything, gimme a shout.

later peeps.
~c

everybody must get stoned

its friday fuckers!
hell yea!

so i'm here for 3 more hours. then its off to the races. or something like that.
i know its only to the river, but i'll be sporting my louis travel duffle for the first time. those of you who know the story behind that will get a kick out of it.
hide the zippers! hide the strap! hehe...wouldn't want to ruin my rep...

anyway, i'll definitely take lots of pictures if i don't get too drunk this time. so keep your eyes peeled next week! lewd, nude, crude, you name it kids. all caught on film. greatness.

um..ok, i'm lame today, so i'm gonna run.

"i had receipts coming out of my a-hole."
-jojo

word.
~c

are you getting a visual?

i just got this note from a friend of mine. i think i just peed my pants.

"....the bathroom situation was not up to par. It has not been cleaned since you and I were there. Which means someone took a shit in it, and this heat has been cooking it for weeks!!!!!!? I am making myself laugh and sick at the same time."
~AG

chicken brake

ok, today must be "drive like a student driver" day. where the fuck is your handicap sticker? i hate stupid people.

ever been to asia? well the paper there is really thin and if you write on it in marker it will run through. steve gave me a singapore dollar. actually it is a 5 dollar bill. there is a picture of a guy on it named yusof bin ishak, but he looks hispanic.

ummm...i think that's it. i need to get busy. all work and no play today.
wrappin stuff up and road trippin.

peace
~c

have you ever...

...accidentally spilled tea tree oil in your eye?

...felt those butterflies in your tummy when you see a certain person?

...looked so cute you couldn't stand it?

...had a bikini wax?

...heard a certain song that makes your whole demeanor change?

...not taken a bath in 4 days?

...eaten sweet potato chips?

...let one person affect you so much that you feel like you're losing your mind?

...given someone - a friend or otherwise - a second chance although they don't deserve it?

...walked out on a job with no notice?

...let someone burn your skin with a laser?

...run your car through a closed garage door?

why so many questions? its therapuetic (did i spell that right?) for me.

i speaka de truth

hey kids.
its only wednesday. ugh.
and i came in at 7 today. ugh.
i'm not a morning person if you haven't figured that out.

pretty pumped about the upcoming weekend. except for the fact that i have to sleep in a tent. the last trip staying in a cabin spoiled me.
headin' down to the river again. yes, i know. i had planned on selling my ragweed tickets and not going at all, but my friend bailed out so now i gotta find something to do with them. it is my understanding that people are willing to pay top dollar for these tickets, but i would rather be there for my last hurrah before i gotta get knocked up. yea i'm kinda blunt, i know.

anyway, i'm sure you're dying to hear all this, but here is the plan. i have my mom pondering the idea of meeting me in austin, which would rule, because i love driving in my car all alone with my music. i also have margie on hold - she is waiting on someone else to make a decision before she can make hers. basically, i know mom will bail, so i'm hoping margie doesn't bail on me. otherwise, i WILL be spooning my 38 all weekend. and more than likely, walking 5 miles up river road by myself because i'll be too drunk to drive. better have brooke hide my keys.

alright, well what i wanted to bitch about yesterday is all the damn construction in my general vicinity. can you say "what the f-?"?
in the words of my dear dad "i'm moving to dorchester".
i'm serious...you can't go ANYWHERE in frisco in less than 20 minutes. not even the damn johnny mart! it is time for a slower pace. yes i'm getting old.

to top that off...some of you may have heard already, but a water main in frisco broke today. a 60 inch main to be exact. word on the street is that it will take at least 24 hours to repair and we only have 8 hours (or less) worth of water. good news for me, since i don't like to bathe anyway. j/k
so the man ran home and filled up the bathtubs so we can at least flush our toilets tonight. i gotta hit the K-roger for some more ozarka. contrary to popular belief, this girl can't live on miller lite alone.
if any of you fellow residents wants to take a bath, we have 500 gallon bathtub in our backyard. can you say par-tay???
or you could opt for the "PTA bath" that bigmomma used to rave about. i'll let you figure that out on your own, folks.

ok i'm done. good god i'm random today.

out
~c

drugs

afternoon folks.
i need some meds. i am sad.
and it's all because of a song. i love music, but i hate it sometimes.

other than that, nothing.
i was gonna comment on all sorts of exciting shit (yea right) but as mentioned before...i'm SAD. so i'm gonna go.

check out this picture i just found.
it made me laugh.


give me love people.
i'm out.
~c

the bottom

mornin kids.
fuckin mondays. i hate 'em.

well...i'm sad to report that my laptop is spending a week or so at the doc.
yep..i finally decided to head my lazy ass to circuit city this weekend. the f-ing thing has all kinds of issues. so many, that i have to save everything on the computer to a disk. not as in a CD - because remember, the cd drive is jacked up.

the blonde dye (or the hottie at the counter) must have affected my though process, because i'm talking to the guy and i'm like "dude..its gonna take me forever to get all these pictures onto a disk..maybe i should just go home & burn them to cd?"
i get home and realize "wait...the main reason i took the damn thing is because the cd drive won't WORK." i swear, i have to stop killing so many brain cells.

so i have a dilemma. i have 2 tickets to the ragweed show this weekend. i thought i had them sold to a friend of mine, but he called last night and is backing out. so i am wanting to go now, but keith isn't. i have no problem going by myself, floating the river by myself, drinking by myself, its just that i'm afraid of my own shadow. so i won't campout by myself. any takers? i won't even make you buy the ticket, just go with me so i don't have to spoon my 38 all weekend.

alright well i think that's it. i was gonna bitch about all of the construction and shitty drivers, but i'll save that for tomorrow...to see if it still bugs me.

"I always try to advance my illness in any way possible."
-bildo

word
~c

stuck

mornin people. is it still morning?

today is probably the suckiest saturday EVER. well, that's how it's looking anyway. i had big plans for today but i have to wait on someone else before my day can begin.

i could have already had my car washed, pedicure done, and be floating in the pool by now. instead, i'm sitting here listening to my dog go bananas in the backyard over the fucking birds. it is insane. i'm surprised my neighbors haven't shot his ass.

today is also sucky because i have this inexplicable rash on my waistline. i can't figure it out. it wasn't there when i woke up, but it is very much there now. i have tried to walk through my morning and figure out where it came from. the only thing i can think of is i put on my camo dike shorts and maybe there was something on/in them? i haven't worn them in probably a month, so i'm not sure. it is bizarre.
so hopefully nobody will come over while i'm laying out today. its pretty frightening.

alright, well i'll get back the business of doing NOTHING.

out
~c

work it

mornin' kids.
ok, i have a lot of shit to get through so pay attention, class.

russ & i were talking about this yesterday and i felt it was worthy enough to bring up. in case any of you pricks are listening.
those 30-something year old guys who go to bars and try to get into it with anyone that looks their way...i fucking hate them. period.

so today is just weird.
i'm driving into work and the right lane on parkwood all the way up to tollway & lebanon is solid white rock. yes, i said white rock. on top of the normal concrete street. and there were 2 city workers sweeping it with BROOMS. yes, i said BROOMS. good luck with that fuckers, it's gonna take you 'til monday to finish.
then, after i get past all this, there are aprons scattered all down lebanon in the right lane. yes, i said aprons. as in the kind that a cook or a waiter might wear.
can you say WTF? i did...

alright, what else? oh...i failed to tell you people that i saw some boobs on wednesday. i'm not mentioning names, but this girl i know got "breast augmentation" done last week. well...she came over to show me. they are beautiful. and now i want some. boobs, that is.

finally, i have to share some comments that i got in response to drew's video of the dancing guy at the WNBA game. my friends crack me up.
for those of you who haven't seen this video, hit me up & i'll email it to you. i'm abbreviating names to protect the innocent.

BG: Hey! That's a foul! You can't dance like that while wearing a Speedtrucker shirt!
TC: That's ridiculous. I don't even dance like that.
LC: That's your boyfriend!
JF: I think I heard gay bells ringing.
JT: You should have seen the guy behind him. His face says it all.
BP: FLAMER!
BM: Was that guy gay? I couldn't tell...
BF: White men suck at dancing. John Travolta is not white.
ZL: What a flamer!

alright, i think that's it.

peace.
~c

one more thing

check out my new myspace account.
it will have the same blogs as this one does...there are just a few more bonuses to this site. like picture stuff.
plus, right now i only have one friend. help me out people.



Check me out!

later kiddos.
~c

you're so vain

alright kids.
i ran across my mini-cruzer (little thumb-sized data storage thingy) and found this picture. i seriously need to get a smaller purse, i thought i had lost the thing.

anyway, i know its a little juvenile, but most of you know that i used to be an avid follower of ragweed. until i got sick of the crowds. and realized that i am never going to marry a rock star. or any star for that matter. that was a hard pill to swallow kids. rough times. ain't life a bitch.

hahahhahaa i really think i need to commit myself today.
not sure what is going on upstairs.

can i borrow a nirkle?

what up fools?
nothin' here.

looks like its about to rain like a mofo here in plano.
all i know is it better stop before 7pm because i'm headed to the roughrider game.
i must say, i'm extremely disappointed in the team this year from the looks perspective. yes, i am that shallow. there's not even a cute pitcher this year.
sad, sad news for me. i'll just have to drink a little more beer than normal.

i couldn't sleep for shit, so i tried to find something to watch on tv about 3:00 this morning. and you people know how demented i am, so i went to on demand and found a sundance film called "weed". yes, as in pot, marijuana, dope, smoke, whatever you wanna call it.
it was based in amsterdam during their annual cannibus festival. it was very interesting, so much in fact that i am thinking about watching it again at a normal time so i can stay awake. it was so cool...like you can hang in a bar and smoke a joint. YOU CAN SMOKE A JOINT IN PUBLIC. and not get in trouble. i mean shit! that is pretty damn cool if you ask me!

so the man started his new job this week and loves it.
i, on the other hand, am not too thrilled. why? because he gets home at the same time i do, the dishwasher is still full, the laundry hasn't been done, and dinner isn't even a thought. i know, i know, i was spoiled for 6 years. looks like now the party's over. time to start being a normal woman who cooks & cleans.
lord help me.

i can't imagine what those of you who DON'T know me think about this blog. yes, i am a very special individual. in the words of keith (and many of my other close friends) "court, you are such a lady."

alright, i gotta run. need to go checkout the weather channel.
it is pretty dark in here...

word
~c

oh happy day

mornin' folks.
what's up?

well...july 5th was not a pivotal day in the life of courtney, but july 6th is. for the boys who are reading this, put on the ear muffs NOW.

girls, i'm not pregnant. glory, hallelujah, fuckin-a, rock & roll, smoke a bowl.
i know, i know. in a couple months, i might feel differently.
but i damn sure wanna enjoy the little bit of summer i have left, instead of puking my guts up for the next 6+ months.
yes ladies, although i feel like total shit, have no medical benefits and am bored to tears, i am happy to report that there is no bun in the oven.

could it get any better than this? yes, it could. and this weekend it will.
why, you ask? because we are taking the boat and going out to the lake with our neighbors. they have a cabin out in east texas (somewhere), and although they are very strong advocates of PDA, they are fun.
if you don't know what PDA is, flashback to high school for a moment and think of that couple that could not keep their hands off each other for the 5 minutes in between classes.
well this is the perfect description of bryan & cynthia, only difference is, they are not 16 and that damn bell never rings. its ok though, whatever floats your boat.

so i busted out the laptop last night in hopes of getting some new tunes onto the ipod. not only could i not get a signal to download stuff from itunes, my cd drive is dicked up. i thought maybe it was just the cd i put in, but i tried lots of them, and it is like it won't read them anymore. dammit i can't win for losing. good thing i bought that service agreement. i'll be headin my grouchy self to circuit city today. perfect day for chewing someone's ass out.

alright, well i guess that's it.
catch ya on the flip side kids.

"Have you ever ate at Joe's (we fuck you out of money) crab shack?...
Hey jack asses if i wanted to spend 70 bucks on expensive beer and watch some chick that did not want to be there dance, i would go to a strip bar. At least then i could see some tits. So buyer beware."
-a blog i ran across yesterday

peace in the east
~c

rehab

howdy folks.
tuesday, july 5th could go down in history as a pivotal day in the life of "cortnay".
but let's hold off the details until tomorrow. i like to keep you people hangin.

i absolutely love long weekends. except i need a week's vacation to recover.
especially from this weekend's debauchery. my liver hates me right now. and my lungs.

speaking of bad liver. "sharry" told me yesterday that i should hold off on having a kid because my cirrhosis (sp?) and lung cancer would probably not be conducive to a healthy baby environment. i say bullshit. back in the 70's (when we were born), our parents were drinkin & smokin (and i don't mean just marlboros) like bandits. i think i came out alright. don't you? wait. don't answer that.

so where to begin?
friday night: can't remember (must have been fun).
saturday night: helped the parents build a gazebo in their backyard. i escaped injury-free, but mom was not so lucky.
sunday night: mom's shin-dig and the boss man's shin-dig. made an appearance at both, then came home to sit by my own pool and finish the night off with a bang. for those of you who know my eating habits when i'm drinking (or lack of), you would be proud. i not only ate ONE meal on sunday, but 2!!
monday night: chad & heather's blowout at the cec farm. it was great fun. they had a bounce house and a kiddie pool and lots of food. well, as you probably expected, courtney ended up in the kiddie pool. i would have got in the bounce house, but it i couldn't fit through the tiny hole they called a door. plus i had on a skirt and ol' one-eye was already makin comments when the wind blew just the right way. something like "i can see your stuff". WHATEVEr. i had on boy shorts underneath, so he didn't see much more than the upper part of my thigh.
after the sun went down we did the fireworks. it was, well...like most fireworks shows. loud.

alright, well back to work. i'm going home for lunch to learn how to make peach cobbler.

"If there has one thing in my life that's worth a 20 min download on a fucking dead ass, slow movin, sap runs faster than a spilt beer, huh, what the hell did I just type, 56k modem, that was it.
I am absolutely floored.
That is a God Damn prize weiner."-bildo

out
~c

don't fake the funk

well kids. it is not exactly the friday i had planned.
but we won't go into detail on that.

it is a nice long weekend for those of us unfortunate enough to have jobs, so we must be thankful for that. i plan on floating in the pool all day tomorrow with a cold beverage - ok, many cold beverages. if anyone would like to join me, bring it baby!!!

laura taught me how to post pictures in my text instead of the pain-in-the-ass hello thing. i can't believe i never figured it out before. wait. yes i can. i'm not the most tech-saavy girl in town.
so let's try this out. here is a darling pic of my dog, zoe and my neice-dog, dorry.


ok, so i gotta run. i'm really irritated, and i REALLY don't like people today, so i'll stop there.

out.
~c